Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
