go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
