bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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