I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
