Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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