shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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