omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
