Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Randomize
