what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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