can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
