How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
