Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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