gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
