i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
