Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
