i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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