What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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