This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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