Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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