She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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