FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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