Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
