I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
