Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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