try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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