I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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