I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
