Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
