i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
farters have to be the big spoon...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
