how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
it was like his penis was on wheels.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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