Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize