my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
