Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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