you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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