i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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