Define "chronic" masturbator.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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