Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
