i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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