i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have feelings that need drinking.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
