Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
