.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
