I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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