Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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