Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
