I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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