It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
