look no pants
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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