My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
