i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
