it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
