He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
