Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
