first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
