Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
