take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
