loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the condom got lost in my hair
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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